Is your marriage in trouble? If you aren’t sure, learn some of the silent signs you need marriage counseling here.
After years of searching, you finally found the person you want to spend the rest of your life with. You have the perfect ring, you complete each other’s sentences, and you can’t picture your life without your better half.
Fast forward to five years later. All the lovey-dovey, warm and fuzzy feelings have worn off, and now you two are struggling. Conversations become a chore, and sex is a thing of the past.
Where did your perfect relationship go?
But before you give up, it may be time to give couples counseling a go. In fact, spouses who undergo marriage counseling have a 30% higher chance of sticking together compared to those who don’t.
See if it’s time to schedule an appointment but checking out these seven signs you need marriage counseling.
1. Every Fight is About the Same Thing
Every couple has their share of spats, but some are more serious than others. That goes double when those problems don’t go away.
If you’re having the same fight over and over, it could be a sign of a bigger issue.
That said, not all hope is lost. The most common cause of arguments is a simple misunderstanding.
Speaking with a professional counselor can help you both learn to communicate your feelings in a more effective manner, thus eliminating those repeat fights.
What’s more, your counselor for marriage can act as a mediator. No, they’re not there to tell you who’s right and who’s wrong. But they can help you suss out the true issues underlying your biggest fights.
2. You Don’t Care Enough to Fight Anymore
The only thing worse than constant arguing is feeling like it doesn’t matter anymore. There are few things deadlier to a relationship than one partner’s resignation.
Though they’re not tangible in a traditional sense, relationships are very much living, breathing beings. They require care and constant work.
When one partner decides that they’re not interested anymore, that beautiful garden of love you shared can turn into a wilted patch of dirt.
The good news is that most of the time, a relationship is still salvageable with counseling. As long as you’re both dedicated to reigniting the fire, there’s still room for change.
3. You’re Not Speaking as Much — or at All
Communication is the crux of any healthy relationship, but it’s especially important for a marriage. With a strong foundation of communication principles, fights are less personal and solutions can be found more easily.
Of course, it’s hard to have solid communication if one or both of you isn’t willing to talk.
The silent treatment has never and will never work. Not only is it immature, but it creates an emotional gulf between both partners that can be harder to bridge as time goes on.
4. You’ve Experienced Infidelity
According to the findings of the New York Times, 15% of married women and 25% of married men reported cheating on their partner.
And for what it’s worth, not all infidelity is sexual, either. When the study took emotional cheating into account, both rates went up by 20%.
Infidelity can feel almost impossible to move past. But the keyword here is ‘almost’.
Learning more about how to find a counselor for marriage can help you get to the bottom of the issue. They’ll work with both partners simultaneously and individually to figure out how and why cheating occurred in the first place, as well as how you can move forward as a couple.
5. You Have a Great Roommate, Not a Partner
Not all marriages end in screaming matches. In fact, some end more with a whimper than a bang.
One of the scariest things about a marriage is the possibility that at any time, one or both of you can fall out of love. Poof, just like that, you’re not feeling the relationship anymore.
As scary as it can be, emotional disconnects do happen. Every relationship has its ebbs and flows, but an ebb shouldn’t stay an ebb.
Love, trust, and intimacy are all musts in a healthy relationship.
If one half of your relationship feels out of sync, marriage counseling may be able to get you both on the same page again and help you feel like you have more support.
6. That Dry Spell Is Only Getting Dryer
It’s a common stereotype that once two people get married, even the healthiest of sex lives comes to a complete halt. But when push comes to shove, more married people have sex than you may think.
The average couple has sex at least once per week. And while there’s still some debate over the “perfect” number of times to have sex, many experts say that once per week enough.
Make no mistake, sex is important for more than physical urges.
Aside from aiding emotional intimacy, sex releases a powerful chemical called oxytocin that helps us bond with others and feel more connected.
Yes, every couple has their share of dry spells. But dry spells only beget more dry spells. Sex, even if it’s once per week, can do wonders for a relationship.
7. One Partner Isn’t Listening
No matter how many times you ask, your partner still won’t put the dishes away or take out the trash.
It seems like a pretty minute thing to get annoyed by, but you have good reason if you find yourself irked. It isn’t about the chore that needs completion — it’s about basic listening.
So it’s time to stop hearing and start listening. No, believe it or not, they’re not the same thing. In fact, they couldn’t be more different.
Hearing is the physical act of receiving and transmitting signals. Listening, on the other hand, is more of an emotional process. It involves taking an active interest in what the other person has to say and reacting accordingly.
It all comes back to emotional intimacy. Every one of us wants to feel like we matter. When a partner doesn’t listen, it can feel like they don’t care.
A counselor for marriage can help you and your partner learn to focus on each others’ needs more and tune out the noise.
Is Your Relationship in Trouble? Check These Signs You Need Marriage Counseling and Save Your Marriage
Nobody enters a marriage expecting trouble. But even the smallest rain cloud can turn into a massive tsunami given enough time.
Before it’s too late, follow these signs you need marriage counseling and help get your marriage back on track.
Have any relationship advice you’d like to share? Get in touch and let me know! I’d love to hear what you did to help your relationship.