There is nothing we love more than some good, old fashioned quotes from our favourite thinkers – whether these are about friendships, family or relationships. As you’re reading through these, you might want to copy a few to send to the loved ones in your life – to show them how much you care and to put into words how you feel.
- “To know when to go away and when to come closer is the key to any lasting relationship.” \—Doménico Cieri Estrada
We love this quote because it basically sums up the importance of attachment styles in a relationship – that we all have different attachment styles (secure, dismissing, anxious or fearful) and these basically determine a lot of our needs in a relationship – whether we need space or reassurance, or whether we prefer lots of time to ourselves, or crave regular company. As Doménico Cieri Estrada accurately states, understanding yourself and your partner’s attachment style is key to a harmonious life together.
- “To get the full value of joy, you must have someone to divide it with.” \—Mark Twain
We like this quote because it speaks to the whole idea that our lives are enriched by our relationships – and not just our romantic ones. Friendship and community relationships are also fundamental to our wellbeing, and maintaining our other relationships can actually help to improve our relationship with our partner. Research consistently shows that those who have supportive and positive relationships with those around them have a higher quality of life and life satisfaction than those who are isolated.
- “We can improve our relationships with others by leaps and bounds if we become encouragers instead of critics.” — Joyce Meyer
This quote speaks to us because it reminds us of the wonderful relationship therapists, the Gottmans – and their ‘Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse’ – ie. the four communication mistakes that can predict a couple’s divorce or separation. One of these is criticism – and their perspective is that when we fall into the pattern of criticising automatically, something can change in the dynamic. Yes, at times we need to give negative feedback or raise an issue – but finding ways of doing this diplomatically can make a big difference.
- “We’ve got this gift of love, but love is like a precious plant. You can’t just accept it and leave it in the cupboard or just think it’s going to get on by itself. You’ve got to keep watering it. You’ve got to really look after it and nurture it.” — John Lennon
The great relationship therapist Esther Perel has a similar approach as the one in this quote – the idea that a relationship can’t just be left to stagnate, but has to be re-made every day, and nurtured. This is especially true during big periods of change or adjustment in our lives, when we are also changing – the relationship has to keep up! This is why relationship coaching and communication is so important – to be able to tune into what is happening for your partner and find that common ground.
- “Learn to be quiet enough to hear the genuine in yourself, so that you can hear it in others.”— Marian Wright Edelman
This is a great quote that reminds us of the importance of our relationship with ourselves – and the fact that, when this is going well, our other relationships tend to thrive too. Sometimes we can get caught up with our friendships and romantic relationships, and neglect our own needs and instincts – and it is only when we tune into what is inside of us, that things can fall into place.
As you can see, there is a lot of wisdom to be found within these relationship quotes – the good news is that, whatever is happening for us in our relationship, it has likely happened to someone, somewhere before – and there are some useful and effective ways of dealing with common issues. Relationship coaching apps such as Relish can help with issues you’re having, as well as offering support from a trained relationship coach. Many people find that getting some help allows them to focus on what is going right in their relationship, and brings them closer to their partner again.