The road which eventually results in making the decision to divorce is never easy. However, once you’ve decided, you’ll need a plan. That’s where mediation comes into play.
A professional mediator is there to help you work out the kinks, and agree on how you handle expenses, assets, and caring for your children.
The goal is to reach an agreement that works for both of you without having to drag the process through court. When you hire a divorce lawyer, their job is to work in your favor. Whereas a mediator works in both parties favor, with the intention of everyone getting a fair share.
If you’re considering mediation as a supplemental part of your divorce, then here are some of the best tips for you to make it work.
You Both Should Agree
The only way that mediation will produce any sort of positive results is if you both agree on it. If one person in the relationship feels forced or unwilling to be there, it won’t work.
Try to decide together why you both think it’s a good idea. Go over the pro’s like less money spent in court, and less time screaming in front of the kids. Once you both agree wholeheartedly that it’s the best decision, then you can move forward with the process.
The mediator is there to mediate, not to organize. It’s not their job to make a list of everything you have to do. Therefore, in order to ensure that you show up prepared, bring along a list of everything you want to cover. List your assets, properties, and personal belongings. Make a printout of your shared debts and stocks.
Bring everything that you need to discuss so that your mediator has something to work with. You should bring any accompanying documentation like bank statements, or bills for recurring expenses.
Coming prepared and doing your homework will ensure that you don’t skim over anything during meditation which may come back to haunt you later.
Clearly Define Your Goals
Before going into mediation, you should have a list of clearly defined goals. If you don’t know what you hope to gain out of your session, then there’s no way you’ll end up getting what you want.
Try to remain flexible and be honest with yourself about what’s important to you. Just like in any negotiation, you’re not going to walk away getting everything that you want. You’ll have to make sacrifices and remain flexible.
If you’re parents, don’t confuse finances with parental rights. Never should you try to withhold a parent seeing their children just because you’re not happy with how much money you’re getting. It will only hurt the kids in the end.